Breastfeeding, that is. With my first son. I thought I didn’t try hard enough. This is why I was so determined to make it work with my second one.
Before he was even born, I was already looking for tips and ways to successfully breastfeed. I bought nursing bras and shirts. I looked up diet plans. I was ready.
Despite the mastitis, the pain and the tears of the first 3 weeks I kept going. I pumped and fed on demand. I tried. I did everything… but it didn’t work. My milk supply did not satisfy his appetite. I had to supplement. I kept trying, however, but I wasn’t producing enough milk. My supply even started to drop, even though I kept trying and trying… I finally gave up.
Some women are more meant to do this than others, I guess.
Although there is nothing wrong with formula (it actually makes life a lot easier for me, especially because my older son is only 18 months old and I have to watch both of them by myself all day), I am still a little disappointed in myself because I couldn’t do it. I really wanted to… but it just wasn’t for me.
So mamas, if you’re trying to breastfeed and it doesn’t work, please know that you are not alone. It’s hard on us because we feel responsible, we feel like we should be able to provide for our babies… I have come to term with this although it took me a few days. On the plus side, I can now focus on the little moments and spending time with my boys instead of stressing and being desperate about my milk supply.