In laws, our love-hate relationship

Maybe it’s because we are women that we tend to see, or seek, competition where in fact there is none. Maybe it’s because we are women that we tend to “read” other women as invasive or just flat out annoying.

At any rate, these chicks are fucking annoying.

My husband and I are 8 years apart in age (he is older than me). He has 4 older sisters and their age gaps are pretty impressive (the ‘youngest’ is 7 years older than him, and the oldest is 16 years older than him), which makes me look even younger [insert wide evil grin here].

Our age difference is never a problem until his sisters come around. How so, you ask? Well, I am in fact not too sure myself. You know how sometimes you just get these vibes from some people, but you’re not sure if you’re just paranoid or if your doubts are well founded? That’s where I am right now. I feel like these women do not respect me because I am much younger than them. I mean, why else would they treat me the way they do?

Let me share a few examples:

1) Last year, my in laws went through some really hard family times. There were a lot of medical emergencies and since we live the closest to the hospital, they stayed with us a bunch. This is what families do. They support each other in times of need, and I was perfectly ok with that. Until I started to realize that our place was slowly becoming a hotel in their mind. It started innocently enough, with them staying out late and making noise at 2-3 in the morning (I work early, early in the morning, but never mind that). Then they started leaving their dirty dishes in the sink, at first maybe just a cup and later on dirty plates with food still in them and dirty silverware. Then came the dirty bathroom towels… on the bathroom floor. Then finally leaving some of their stuff behind only to make us ship it back to them.
=> At first I thought it was just bad parenting from their parents, and maybe they had never been taught good manners. I later find out, that they NEVER do this when they stay with other people.

2) During every stay with us, I also got to hear all their sob stories about not having a lot of money, and how stressed out they were, blah blah blah. Mind you, I was pregnant at that time, but no one seemed to care about my stress level. Anywho, I never asked for anything in return when they stayed with us because again, that’s what families do. They help each other in times of need. So when they were eating everything in our fridge, I said nothing. When they made us pick them up late from the airport without offering to pay for gas, I said nothing. When they asked us to drive them around, I said nothing. Only to later find out, that while I was feeding them, they had more than enough money to go out to the bars or take my husband’s ex out to dinner – almost every night and behind my back.
=> Thank you, fuckers!

3) Every time I am talking to my husband, they interrupt. At first I did not pay attention, and just stopped talking – because you know, sometimes it just happens. But then I started to realize that is was every single time. The other day, him and I were talking about what we needed to not forget for out trip. Mid-sentence his sister walks in and starts talking about her boyfriend. Another time, I’m trying to schedule a doctor’s appointment for our Baby 2, I’m checking with my husband what day would work and his Dad walks in, cuts me off and starts talking about the stupid fucking song on the radio. Another time, I’m doing our laundry and discussing evening plans with my husband when his other sister comes in, starts folding his laundry (because you know, she used to do his laundry all the time and she knows just how to fold his clothes…).

… ugh! So here we are. They make me feel like shit and they don’t show a lot of respect for me. They post pictures of my son and my husband, and carefully crop me out. They also “forget” to mention me or my name when they tell people they are staying at our place. It’s all the little things that are slowly adding up, and I am really starting to get pissed.

And I can’t figure out what their deal is. Is it because I’m younger? Is is because they would rather have my husband’s ex still be around instead of me? The whole age thing keeps tugging at me, because she was older than my husband. So maybe they could relate more? I have no idea. Or is it just because they like to buy into the “in-laws feud myth” ?

I know that not all people are raised the same way, and therefore I do try to accept some differences. But some of them are just too outrageous to simply be due to a difference on how we were raised. All I can do, though, is make sure my kids are not raised that way and do what I can to make sure they don’t turn out that way. Respect, is one of the most important qualities in life. I wish these people had more of it.

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