Not sharing

When we found out I was pregnant with my Son, in November 2012, my husband and I were so excited and nervous that we told everyone basically the minute the 2nd line appeared on my home pregnancy test. Of course, everyone was happy (I thought) and excited. It was not until Son was born that I realized that no one on his side of the family actually congratulated me. Me, the mother. I received nothing. Not a little text, not a little Facebook acknowledgement, nothing. Zippidy-doo-dah. Zero. For some odd reason, I started thinking about that yesterday, and decided to double check. Maybe I had just forgotten? Nope. The only times that I was ever mentioned always felt like an afterthought. All their posts were always something along the lines of “my amazing brother,” “my handsome brother,” “he will be the best parent,” “his son is so lucky to have an amazing father” – yup, you guessed right, my husband had a baby all by himself, what a miracle!

In that moment, however, I was so wrapped up in that blissful moment that it did not hit me.

Now, I do realize how petty this whole thing is, but still. To this day, I barely get any acknowledgement. The night we found out I was pregnant, his sisters did not wait more than 5 minutes to plaster it all over Facebook and Instagram, after we had specifically told them not to say anything because I wanted to wait until the end of the first trimester. The day my son was born, same thing. I wanted to keep my baby to myself and to my husband without the rest of the world. We sent a text message with a picture to our families asking them to not post anything until we were ready. The next day, I posted one carefully selected picture of my son and I – I wanted our first “public” picture to be special. Within the next 5 minutes, my husband’s oldest sister had posted 15 pictures of my son, tagging my husband only on them and not me. Again, it was all about the “amazing, handsome brother” – and nothing about the tired, recovering, mom. As the weeks went by, they would even re-post my pictures without asking, and, praising my almighty husband for all his hard work, make sure to mention how tired I looked and how lucky I was to have such a great husband to take care of me and my son.

That’s my in-laws for you. I always knew that girls were catty, but now that I have finally opened my eyes I realize that they might just be jealous and insecure. They are not married, and only one has kids. Her ex-husband was a jerk, and now she is 52 and desperate. The other is 42, dating a 30 year old and there is not wedding in sight. May be it is just envy? I don’t know. But you bet I put my foot down.

Now that Baby 2 is on the way, I have decided to not tell anyone until we find out the sex – in 4 months. I told my husband that he was not allowed to tell ANYONE until then. I do not want to make the same mistake twice. This baby is way too precious to share with stupid people. Another thing that helped me make my decision, is that my babies will only be 16 months apart. And I can already hear the “Wow! Already?! You didn’t waste any time, did you?” Their narrow-mindedness will not be able to conceive (pun not intended) of the idea that Baby 2 was very much wanted.

So no, I am not sharing this precious little one. I’m keeping him/her all to myself, and I plan on enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.


5 thoughts on “Not sharing

  1. Uuuuuuugh! I am saddened reading this–for you, missing out on support others would have readily offered and having your wishes respected, and for them. I can’t even articulate yet the “for them” part, but . . . wow, are they missing out on the sweetest parts of life by taking this tack on things. And it sounds like they are gearing themselves up to keep missing out, for which they will continue to have no one to blame but themselves. Wishing the best for you and yours the next many months!

    • Thank you for the support. You know at first I was really mad at their behavior and then it moved on to being hurt. Not hurt because they were directly mean, but because of their disrespect. I guess some people are just like that. What’s sad is, like you said, they will keep missing out on lofe events that are supposed to be nothing but happy… all just because of their self-centeredness. Too bad.

  2. Congratulations on baby no 2. Fabulous news for you. I read this post a couple of hours ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. SOmeone spilt the beans on my baby no 5 way too early. It’s really upsetting not to share the details yourself. Hope it all works out this time for you. Don’t stress too much about family – all families have their oddballs! Great posts, keep them up!

  3. Pingback: The wishy-washy dance (in the baby 2 saga) | Secret Words of a Mama

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