Some of us believed that there were monsters hiding under our beds or in our closets. As we grew up, we realized that these fears and anxieties had no reason to exist, and that in fact there was never anything hiding anywhere in our rooms ready to pop out and scare us.
Today, I, the mom of a beautiful 7month old baby boy, know of a monster hiding under a bed. It is not exactly a real monster, with scary teeth and big eyes. It is the storage box where I put the clothes that Son has outgrown and I want to keep.
That plastic bin is my monster. It hides under his crib.
My heart feels like it is going to break a little every time I know that I need to put away more clothes, because it means that my little guy is growing up. What should really take me about 5 minutes always turns into an hour long project every time I open that box because I always end up hugging and touching every item in there.
From the PJ’s he wore on our first night home, to his hospital beenie. It’s all in that box. I don’t want to let it go.
Everyday he discovers something new, and every step forward he takes is another step away from me. I don’t want to blink. I don’t want to miss anything.
Today I had to open my monster bin to put away some of his 3months size clothing. He is finally starting to fit into 6months size clothes… it’s wonderful.
But I cry every time I open that plastic bin. Maybe my tears are really tears of joy and pride, not tears of sadness, after all. I would have never guessed that such a small human being could hold my heart and soul in the palm of his hand.