I carry my new title, Mama, as high as a flag everywhere I go, every second of every day. Before my son was even on the way, when he was still just a distant thought in my mind, I knew. I knew that a little human being was going to come to me and depend on me 200%. With very little fear I took on my pregnancy like a challenge. Look out world, awesome Mama on the way.
Today my son is almost 7 months old and I take great pride into giving him my all. Every day I wake up early to go to work, and he is still asleep with my husband. I setup everything for their morning (clean bottles, food warming instructions, etc.) before I leave. After work, if I don’t go straight home to relay my husband (who needs to get ready for work – yeah we have no child care, it’s only the 2 of us) I go grocery shopping for all of us or quickly run errands.
I take great pride in making all my son’s food myself. I take great pride in having no childcare. I take great pride in keeping my home in order, my boys happy and doing everything for my family.
What do I get in return? The biggest smiles from my son and husband and their unconditional love. It’s the greatest thing ever…
But doing all of this is also very exhausting. I get very little sleep at night (because once Son is down for the count I have to do a run through the house, pick up, clean up and setup for the next day). I get up at 6am everyday to get ready for work and make sure the house is in order for my husband and my son. I come home, fix lunch, my husband is off to work and it’s just me and the little guy until the next morning.
I.am.tired. The dark circles under my eyes, my sore lower back, my achy feet – that’s my Proud Mama Badge.
The Mama Badge is not easy to carry. It comes with great responsibility and sacrifice. That’s being a mom: you put yourself aside 99% of the time and your family comes first. That’s the ultimate definition of the job. Don’t think that my husband is not helpful. He does everything I tell him to. In fact he gets frustrated with me because he would like to help more. But what can I say? That’s just me. He always encourages me to take time off to myself, to go have lunch with my girls or get a pedicure… but I always feel… guilty? I’m not sure how to explain it.
So, for my birthday – the one day out of the year when I’m allowed to be (at least a little bit) selfish I asked for 2 hours of alone time. I’m going to get a massage and a facial, and then enjoy the rest of my day and dinner with my two boys. This “me” time will be used to polish my Proud Mama Badge, before I put it back on and get back to work – but before that, I will enjoy every second of being pampered 🙂